1. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has its own set of traffic rules. There’s no book about them. All you can do is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.
2. All directions start with, “Go down 95…’cause you don’t want to get on 15.”
3. Las Vegas Blvd, Charleston Blvd, and Torrey Pines have no beginning and no end.
4. It’s impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a “scenic drive.”
5. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 11:30am to 10:15pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning and ends sometime late Sunday night. It’s all part of living in a 24 hour city.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light you will immediately be identified as a newcomer. You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the beginning of the red light create a “pumpkin-orange” hue.
7. For the most part, you can do anything you want, as long as it isn’t in a school zone.
8 . Just remember that Camino Al Norte is Martin Luther King Boulevard, Boulder Highway is Fremont Street, Eastern Ave is 25th Street or Civic Center Drive, Desert Inn is Lamb Blvd., Spring Mountain/Sands/Twain are all the same street. And don’t forget that Ft. Apache turns into Rampart and then turns into Durango. Don’t try to figure it out. Just accept it.
9. Henderson is the only place in the world where THREE “parallel” streets intersect at one traffic light. That would be the 4-way of Green Valley Parkway/Eastern Avenue/Maryland Parkway. For laughs ask your middle school geometry teacher to try to explain it.
10. Rainbow Blvd. has THREE exits from the 95. This just makes giving driving directions to newbies more entertaining. There is also a Lake Mead “Drive” and a Lake Mead “Boulevard” and both run east/west but are 30 miles apart. You have to be specific when you say “the corner of Lake Mead and……..”
11. Many major roads just end abruptly in somebody’s garage, a Home Depot, a casino or McCarran International Airport runways and start again after the interruption. That was done to encourage you to “see the sights” and meet new people. For fun, just try to take Harmon Avenue from Rainbow to Nellis.
12. If there is moisture which is found to be rain and not sweat, all traffic must immediately cease. Do not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow, blowing dust or a 3 day weekend.
13. Once a year, when it rains, the Las Vegas Wash and the City of Las Vegas are one.
14. Construction on I-15 and US 95 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. They actually move the construction cones every night to make the next day’s drive a bit more exciting for you. I-215 will never be completed. Get used to it!
15. Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd. if you do not like the thought of being in a remake of the movie “Top Gun.”
16. And always remember, when driving in Las Vegas in the summertime, it is a good idea to wear pot holders on your hands!